Let’s face it: The apocalypse is being debugged by idiots. Picture this: A state-sponsored hacker in a tracksuit hijacks a Modbus-connected dam in 1990s-era code. A disinfo bot army blames the resulting flood on “vegan energy policies.” Meanwhile, your smart thermostat becomes a pawn in a cyberwar over Arctic oil. Welcome to 2025, where climate action is getting hacked faster than your grandma’s Facebook. In this talk, we’ll explore: – APTs’ climate kill list: Energy grids, carbon capture labs, fusion reactors—all hacked via 1970s-era code. – Why Modbus is the cybersecurity equivalent of a flip phone—and why APTs love it. Geopolitical clown shows: – Russia’s “Dark Winter” playbook: How Sandworm hijacked Modbus to freeze European cities and spark a fossil fuel revival. – China’s “Silent Grid” ops: APT41’s attacks on solar farms and EV charging networks—and the shockingly simple Modbus flaws they exploited. – The Lazarus Greenwash: North Korea’s fake ESG ransomware targeting carbon credit markets. – Iran’s “Sandstorm”: Manipulating water treatment sensors to worsen droughts in rival nations. – Stupid human tricks: From AI-powered grid attacks to hacking disaster relief drones. – How to unf* the future**: Threat hunting for climate villains, securing OT systems with duct tape and hope, and why cyber hippies might save the world. You’ll walk away with: – APTs’ TTPs for OT attacks: From Modbus MITM to PLC bricking. – How to weaponize threat intel: Correlating geopolitical events with ICS vulnerabilities. – The Future of Climate Cyberwar: AI-Driven Attacks on Hydrogen Plants, Quantum Exploits, and Why COP30 Might Become a Hacker’s Playground (Hopefully Not!)