When you hear the term **“botnet”** mentioned during a regular chat with your friends at the local coffee shop, you think of compromised computers and massive infrastructures, don’t you? Well… So was I, until I found myself down the rabbit hole I want to share with you. This talk will present another way to get bots netting. A tale of cheap ESP32 microcontrollers and custom firmware to establish a gprs connection to a command & control. Execute remote commands, do surveillance and eavesdropping, exfiltrate data, or even… triangulate Bluetooth signals… ! We built a custom C2 and firmware ourselves, because why not?? I’ve been told that’s how we become *l33t hackers* _(ツ)_/¯ Because spending far too much time developing all this wasn’t enough, we now invite you to this 45-minute course on why you shouldn’t trust your ESP32 too much 😉